Quarter-Life Crisis
Oh, life. You're too funny sometimes.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and I'm not quite sure how to proceed. I'm finishing up my Master's thesis and if all goes according to plan, I will be finished in August! This is exciting by itself but I find myself being plagued with thoughts about, "What's next?!"
I know I want to work in the fashion industry. Of that I'm sure. Other than that...my thoughts have wavered about a thousand times in recent months. Six months ago, I was certain that I would just move up with the company I currently work for by paying my dues at each level until I reached my dream job (something in visual at the corporate level). Well. Apparently others have different ideas of what my next move should be. I am now second guessing myself and my abilities in the job I perform on a daily basis.
Also, thanks to a few books I've read recently (Retail Hell by Freeman Hall and Pretending You Care: The Retail Employee's Handbook by Norman Fueti) I'm beginning to wonder if even the corporate level is where I want to be. These two books are must reads if you currently work or have ever worked in retail. They provide some laugh out loud (literally!) tales of retail woes. However, they do not paint people who work at the corporate level of a retail organization in the best light. So after reading these books I brought this up with my store manager. Last Sunday we got to work at 7 am (yikes!) and were doing a lot of cleaning jobs that needed to be completed before a HUGE corporate visit we had on Thursday (which went very well, by the way!). My CO-Manager and Store Manager have both read Retail Hell and it was actually my CO who suggested, no...ordered, me to buy this book and read it IMMEDIATELY. So I asked my store manager, "Do I really want to work at corporate?" She laughed after I told her it was because of these books that I was beginning to second guess my career goals and we then had a lighthearted conversation about the pros and cons of working at the corporate level. However, thinking back on this conversation I think the cons outweigh the pros...Ugh.
So, now what? I am about to finish up a Master's degree and have no clue what I want to do afterwards. Fantastic feeling. I am now more aware than ever that the retail store is a very difficult environment to work in. The hours are long and irregular. The sales are constantly changing and sometimes hard to keep straight. I could write an entire other blog solely dedicated to the customers and their behaviors/questions/comments.
I envy some of our associates (two in particular) who always seem to have a smile on their face when they come to work and never seem to get discouraged by anything. It's those two who I usually ask to man the cashwrap while I help out in the wardrobe room whenever we're working together. They're always so smiley...and I'm always so envious. I try my best but sometimes you can read my mood just by looking at my face, no matter how hard I try to fake it.
My mom loves The Devil Wears Prada and always wants to watch it with me. "But it's about fashion...you should like it," she says to me. She seems to think that I would be the perfect assistant to the Miranda Priestly's of the world. Ever since watching that movie (and The Rachel Zoe Project or Kell on Earth) the world of high fashion has scared the crap out of me. It makes me intimidated just watching and I know, being as sensitive as I am, I wouldn't last two seconds in that world. As much as I wish I could, I am doubtful that it would happen. Sometimes when I'm very optimistic, I imagine dropping everything and moving to New York to work in the fashion industry. Some days I believe I can handle it. Others its just a dream that I know will never come true.
All of this restlessness leads me to my favorite John Mayer song, "Why Georgia." I'm not really a huge John Mayer fan but this song in particular has touched my heart.
"...Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdict-less life"
and
"It might be a quarter-life crisis, or just a stirring in my soul..."
are my two favorite lines and I could listen to this song all day.
Everyone always says, "But you're so young..." or "You've got time." These two phrases, along with, "What are you going to do with that?" make me cringe. But sometimes it feels like I'm the one in a rush. Life is about the journey, right? God has a plan for my life and I'm trying my darndest to let him have control and to just go with the flow. However, if you know anything about me, you know I am not a go-with-the-flow-type person. At all.
Let's not even talk about the fact that I was discussing with one of my co workers today the prospect of her and her husband trying to have their second child. She's younger than me, by the way. As much as I envy her for having the husband and child right now, I can't even fathom being married right now. Not even for a second. That's a topic for a whooooole other blog on a completely different day.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and I'm not quite sure how to proceed. I'm finishing up my Master's thesis and if all goes according to plan, I will be finished in August! This is exciting by itself but I find myself being plagued with thoughts about, "What's next?!"
I know I want to work in the fashion industry. Of that I'm sure. Other than that...my thoughts have wavered about a thousand times in recent months. Six months ago, I was certain that I would just move up with the company I currently work for by paying my dues at each level until I reached my dream job (something in visual at the corporate level). Well. Apparently others have different ideas of what my next move should be. I am now second guessing myself and my abilities in the job I perform on a daily basis.
Also, thanks to a few books I've read recently (Retail Hell by Freeman Hall and Pretending You Care: The Retail Employee's Handbook by Norman Fueti) I'm beginning to wonder if even the corporate level is where I want to be. These two books are must reads if you currently work or have ever worked in retail. They provide some laugh out loud (literally!) tales of retail woes. However, they do not paint people who work at the corporate level of a retail organization in the best light. So after reading these books I brought this up with my store manager. Last Sunday we got to work at 7 am (yikes!) and were doing a lot of cleaning jobs that needed to be completed before a HUGE corporate visit we had on Thursday (which went very well, by the way!). My CO-Manager and Store Manager have both read Retail Hell and it was actually my CO who suggested, no...ordered, me to buy this book and read it IMMEDIATELY. So I asked my store manager, "Do I really want to work at corporate?" She laughed after I told her it was because of these books that I was beginning to second guess my career goals and we then had a lighthearted conversation about the pros and cons of working at the corporate level. However, thinking back on this conversation I think the cons outweigh the pros...Ugh.
So, now what? I am about to finish up a Master's degree and have no clue what I want to do afterwards. Fantastic feeling. I am now more aware than ever that the retail store is a very difficult environment to work in. The hours are long and irregular. The sales are constantly changing and sometimes hard to keep straight. I could write an entire other blog solely dedicated to the customers and their behaviors/questions/comments.
I envy some of our associates (two in particular) who always seem to have a smile on their face when they come to work and never seem to get discouraged by anything. It's those two who I usually ask to man the cashwrap while I help out in the wardrobe room whenever we're working together. They're always so smiley...and I'm always so envious. I try my best but sometimes you can read my mood just by looking at my face, no matter how hard I try to fake it.
My mom loves The Devil Wears Prada and always wants to watch it with me. "But it's about fashion...you should like it," she says to me. She seems to think that I would be the perfect assistant to the Miranda Priestly's of the world. Ever since watching that movie (and The Rachel Zoe Project or Kell on Earth) the world of high fashion has scared the crap out of me. It makes me intimidated just watching and I know, being as sensitive as I am, I wouldn't last two seconds in that world. As much as I wish I could, I am doubtful that it would happen. Sometimes when I'm very optimistic, I imagine dropping everything and moving to New York to work in the fashion industry. Some days I believe I can handle it. Others its just a dream that I know will never come true.
All of this restlessness leads me to my favorite John Mayer song, "Why Georgia." I'm not really a huge John Mayer fan but this song in particular has touched my heart.
"...Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdict-less life"
and
"It might be a quarter-life crisis, or just a stirring in my soul..."
are my two favorite lines and I could listen to this song all day.
Everyone always says, "But you're so young..." or "You've got time." These two phrases, along with, "What are you going to do with that?" make me cringe. But sometimes it feels like I'm the one in a rush. Life is about the journey, right? God has a plan for my life and I'm trying my darndest to let him have control and to just go with the flow. However, if you know anything about me, you know I am not a go-with-the-flow-type person. At all.
Let's not even talk about the fact that I was discussing with one of my co workers today the prospect of her and her husband trying to have their second child. She's younger than me, by the way. As much as I envy her for having the husband and child right now, I can't even fathom being married right now. Not even for a second. That's a topic for a whooooole other blog on a completely different day.
Comments
Post a Comment